But although I am a excellent archivist and curator (and collector and hoarder), I am a terrible photographer. I took photography in the analog days, and learned how to focus a camera and develop film, both in the Illustration Program at Parsons and in the Fine Arts Program at MCAD.
I hated it. At MCAD, having slides of your paintings prepared was part of your grade, and I got my boyfriend at the time to do some of the work. I still have very nearly all the art I’ve ever made except what I’ve sold, but even with the advent of digital cameras, I haven’t photographed very much of it. Until today, no photographic record of these works existed whatsoever. If we had a fire, they would just be gone.
I did scan a lot of what would fit on the scanner back in 2009, and you can find it here.
I find handling a camera physically exhausting and stressful, but scanning is just tedious.
She had upgraded, and brought me her Lumix from her flat in Moscow (she made sure to change all the settings to English from Russian!) I hadn’t had one for a while and it took me forever to find out what kind of cable it needed to connect to the computer (Daria couldn’t find hers) and then to order it on eBay.
But the computer I had until January was an ancient Chromebook, and it didn’t have the power to run photo editing programs or any storage.
So I had another excuse to put off documenting the archives of work I have here in our flat and in my artwork storage locker north of the city.
Even though the pressure to do it has been growing for years, as much of it is on newsprint paper or cardboard and it is not archival.
In January a friend and patron gave me a new-to-me computer, a proper ThinkPad with vast memory. (As my friends and Patrons know, I hate to buy technology and hardware and almost always get it as gifts from my tech-loving loved ones!) It’s time.
I hope my patrons will find the process interesting; I plan to do one or two archive posts a month.
These two self-portraits were done in my earliest painting class, I believe, in Fall 1989. I was 22.
It was a class I took when I was less than a year sober, waiting to get into the full-time BFA program at MCAD, the Minneapolis College of Art and Design. I had gone to St. Paul, Minnesota to follow up my initial 34-day drug treatment for alcoholism and heroin addiction with four months in the Hazelden halfway house, Fellowship House.
Getting out of the halfway house, I decided to stay in Minnesota, as all the New York junkies I knew who went back to New York relapsed.
So I needed to finish art school in the Midwest, and there was only one: MCAD, a school much more focused on Fine and conceptual art than Illustration.
I took the painting class because it was in St. Paul rather than Minneapolis and I didn’t know how to drive or have a car yet!
I was just barely learning to handle the brush and the physicality of the paint and had done almost no work in color.
They are both on cardboard and are large, 18″ x 24″ (close to A2). I love them, honestly, for how fearless and crude they are!
One of them has another painting on its back, of Kathleen, a superb life model who did a lot of work for MCAD.
I am so grateful to my Patrons on Patreon for supporting my work.
I hope you find this process of documenting my history and development as an artist interesting!